The Life Changes That Come From Getting Older

Moving into older age, our attitudes and priorities change, as we reflect on our life to date and how to spend the remainder. What are some of things on people’s mind as they age?

Health is important, as the body gets more frail and neglected ailments continue to get stronger. Chronic illness, medications, staying active and keeping the mind sharp are realistic concerns.

Financial security matters of course, especially after retirement when the paychecks stop coming. Savings, investments, pensions and managing expenses all become imperatives. End of life planning after retirement ranges from health care arrangements to estate management, and raises the question of what legacy we want to leave.

Where to live, and how, become crucial as the horizon becomes finite. Stay in the family home, downsize, move to a retirement community or explore assisted living? Family relationships come into this, as we turn to thoughts of strengthening the family unit, deepening bonds, and giving to the younger generations, our kids and grandkids.

Friendship becomes important and the specter of loneliness may occur for the first time in our lives. And we have more free time: how to spend it? Hobbies, volunteering, lifetime bucket-list items, all come up for consideration.

Maintaining independence and “having a life” while also preparing for an eventual end, and gathering wisdom from reflecting on experience, as well as giving to the younger ones or the ones in more need – older age can be the richest part of anyone’s life.

Regrets and New Ambitions

Regrets are part of living life at any age, but as we get older we see which particular regrets have staying power. Missed opportunities, relationships, life choices: getting older is the time to sort out what really matters to us.

Fortunately we’ve already gone through the “mid-life crisis” where we tried to hang onto youth; now we can establish who we wanted to be all along.

Considering the things they regret the most, older people often travel (finally) to places they always wondered about, renew old relationships, make amends, and focus more on people relationships, especially with immediate and extended family.

Hobbies and creative expression often flower during the elder years, sometimes with a renewed sense of purpose through community volunteering or even starting a small business. Conscious of the closing chapter, and taking better care of their health, older people may explore personal growth and learning, and focus simply on becoming more present in the moment, to enjoy the wonders and gifts of life.

Much of this renewed focus is inspired by realizing that regrets in old age are actually the best guidepost to how to spend the remaining years.

Deepening the Family

One of the greatest regrets in older age is not having spent enough time with family during the years of making a living. As we become grandparents we often want to spend more time with children and grandchildren.

Suddenly now perhaps we can begin to host family gatherings at holidays and celebrations, maybe creating events that the family never had time for before, like Sunday dinner.

As elders, we can take on some of the babysitting and childcare tasks, freeing precious time up for our children as they work and provide for their kids. We can play games with those grandkids, read with them, do arts and crafts, and even take them on outings.

With the wisdom of age, and the desire to pass gifts onto the young ones, elders are important in the teaching and learning of the grandchildren. While their parents may not have the time, we as grandparents can help arrange homeschooling or tutoring to enrich their children’s education.

It’s increasingly a multi-generational country, and vacations together with three or four generations are easier and more common nowadays. And multi-generational living, with three or more generations of family living in the same house, is an exploding trend in America now, solving so many of the issues that beset all the generations, all in one solution.

As the aging of the individual can be the richest part of life, so too can this help create the richest time for family. And while we’ve only listed briefly here the many elements that matter to people as they get older, we’ll dive deeper into some of the ways the elder ambitions are made real, in future articles.